fear

isn’t it strange how the idea and act of becoming a mother, the most beautiful & exciting experience, can also be one of fear, worry & doubt. or maybe it makes perfect sense.

seeing that faded second pink line. screaming and dancing with joy in the bathroom together. every day i am in awe of our baby, how did we make something so beautiful!

after having a miscarriage it’s hard, at least it was for me, to show excitement in that first trimester, when all you can think about is every twinge and cramp, hoping you can carry this baby to term. i was in constant fear and it robbed me of the most joyous time in my life.

even after you pass that safe milestone, the worry and fear can still creep in, taking it’s hold on your heart. will my baby be healthy? will i have to have a c-section? will i be able to nurse? and it just continues… still birth, vaccines, SIDS… i understand it’s good to be cautious and research what is best for your babe, but it’s when the worry and fear are consuming you and robbing you of life and joy. when will we be free? are those worries really in your control?

IMG_3385-2 honestly, it’s going to be a constant battle, but it’s one you can win, over and over again.

i believe that motherhood (& jimmy fallon) is God’s gift to women. He chose us to carry, nurture and love, He created us this way & i think that the qualities of a woman, our hearts, our sensitivity, the care, love, adventurous, warrior woman hearts are actually a reflection of who God is, part of Him anyways. i also think that because motherhood is so sacred, that this is where the enemy attacks, and then it all makes sense to me, when fear and sorrow creeps in, in a place that should be the most joyful and celebrated.

You know that voice that is trying to hurt us…maybe you were raped and you have constant thoughts saying to yourself, you’re worthless, who would want you now. maybe you struggle with your appearance or you never feel good enough. Maybe you’re afraid of failing. i struggle with these thoughts, and guess, what, everyone does, but they are lies!

we have something greater.

we have Jesus. there is so much power in His name. call on him when these thoughts weigh on your heart and He will set you free.  even if you never pray or don’t know how- sometimes i just sing out his name and honestly, i tell those thoughts of fear and worthlessness to be cast out of my life, in the name of Jesus. Keep your focus on him.

when fear comes in, don’t be afraid. Remember always, you’re never alone.

heres a few verses that i kept close to my heart through my entire pregnancy. knowing these truths, writing them on your heart, will set you free.

One more thing, miscarriage is so hard on your husband too. He might not show it or he might cry is heart out, either way, embrace each other and heal together, letting him know it’s ok to grieve and that you’re there for him too.

2 Timothy 1:7 for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

Psalm 139:13-14 for you formed my inward parts, you wove me in my mother’s womb. i will praise you, for i am fearfully and wonderfully made…

Philippians 4:6 do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Jeremiah 29:11,12 for i know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future. when you call out to me and pray, I will hear you.

Psalm 18:30 As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.

Psalm 23 The Lord is my shepherd;
    I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
    he leads me beside peaceful streams.
    He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
    bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will not be afraid,
    for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
    protect and comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
    My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
    all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
    forever.

John 16:33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

 

 

 

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